The Important Friends In My Life

Hi again,

I want to now talk about the people that inspire my life, and make me the person that I am today. The people that care so much about me, and how I care so much about them. They make me laugh, smile, and so much more. I do have so many friends but I just wanna narrow it down to my best friends. The one's that really touch my life. If I went on to talk about friends it would just be to damn long for me to write lol. So here is what I will do for you people that read this. I will update this post each time I have a new BFF aka Best Friend. You wanna know why? Because I'm sure that my list of best friends will continue to grow over the years to come. So now let's talk about my Best Friends shall we:)

Ashley Alison Boone - Now if you have read my last post you would have known I have mentioned Ashley before. But why not mention her again right. Oh Ashley how you have done so much for me in the past. I've known you since I was in Elementary School, and yes we did become distant but after so many years we just reunited as Bestie's, and just helped me through my problems. What makes you my Bestie is that we have a strong connection you, and I. We were hurt by the same person which I find our friendship is so strong, and will always be strong no matter what the outcomes are. You sat with me when I was in tears, and I know you have always been so fun to hang out with:) You are great Ash, and I would never want you to change ever. People can bitch about you all they want but I know to me you are the greatest, and sweetest people I have ever known and met:)

Candice Dawn Boone - Ah yes Candice. Another one of my oldest friends, and has so much attitude:) This is one of those girls that if you get her angry oh you better watch out because she will scratch your eyes right out ;) But I have known you Candice since I was little, and I of course will never forget the time we found those birds, and took care of them. It seems like it was only yesterday that we were little. It's so nice that two of my best friends are also sisters too:) People might say shit about both you, and Ash saying your bad news, and I believe you would know who I mean ;) But I know you, and I would never change anything about you. You are full of life, and strong, and you have always cared for me as I have of you. Your a great person Candice, and I will always luv ya dear:)

Tammy Dawn Meade - Oh my god oh how we just became great friends so fast in only a month. Tammy when I first met you I just knew you were fun, and crazy but I didn't realize that I would just become Best Friends with you in such a short time. We talk about everything, and I feel just as comfortable around you as you do me. Like I feel like I can just talk about everything. I believe we pretty have anyways. You just came into my life by surprise, and you completely just changed it, and made it full of life, surprises, and so much fun. Your one of the greatest gals I've ever met. You just know how to stay strong, and I just love your son Joesph, and your Mom Jo too:) You have one crazy family but I just luv you all to death. You are just so amazing, so sweet. I hope we have crazy fun in the future to come:)

Andrew Monteith - You sir are just full of life. You let nothing bring you down. Even if I have had the worse day possibly you just know how to bring me back up. If I want someone positive to be around I just know the person to call, and that my friend is you. You are such a party animal, and you know not to ever worry about anything in life. All you have to say is Don't Worry About It, and that just makes my day. I love you witty self, and crazy goofiness. I just love it when say all your amazing lines, and all the crazy outfits you wear is just so funny, witty, and just make my night. I always enjoy your company. We've been friends since middle school, and we have out lasted a lot of friendships, and I hope it continues to last. I believe in it, and I know you are full of adventure. I can't wait for the next time you show your face man.

Brandon Cronkhite - You are a good man. You know always how to party, and I love hanging with you my man. We've been friends for the longest time, and I love having you as a drinking buddy. Everyone just loves your wild self, and your always a delight to be around. Don't ever change my brother. Keep it real man.

Alex Neilson - Me, and you are like cousins or even brothers pretty much. Best Bros for that much. That's why I consider you a close friend of mine, and I know you think of me the same way. Your just funny kid to be around, and you always have something funny to say, and man me, and you are Bros for life.

John Douglass - John me, and you just go back to 8th grade. But we never really gotten close until high school, and even though man you are really far away I still think we are close. You always talk to me about your problems, and I always want to help you out. I love visiting you in St. Andrews cause we always have a good time. We might even just chill at your place but it's so much fun still. We always had fun in high school, and I know even though you have your issues I know you will get by cause I know you, and I know I'm always here for you bud. No matter how the outcome is we will always remand best friends. You mean a lot to me, and I never let anything bad happen to ya as you would of me. Stay strong John. I know you will.

Jordan Harding - Ah yes Jordan Fucking Harding. My bud since mother fucking 4th grade. You always came to see me no matter what. You are sure a true friend Jordan. I know my folks may not be fond of you but you  are still a very close friend, and man we have had some nice times getting are green on haha. You are such a party animal I love having fun with you, and whoever we are with. It's always a fun wild ride. We have had some crazy adventures, and I know we will continue to do so. Your one slick white guy, and my bro to.

Devin Smith - DEVIN!!!! Holy shit I miss you buddy. I hate that your in PEI but I've known you since I was like heading into 6th grade. You are one of the most funniest people I know, and man you just are so nerdy, and fun. I know I will see ya sometime soon, and we will just kick the doors down, and just party er up, and have a wild time.

Nathan Davenport - Nathan you are one of the most random people I know. Your stories are just funny, and crazy but I just love having a good time with you. You always have something funny to say, and I would never want you to change man. Like being yourself is awesome enough as it is, and I just love it dude. I laugh so hard when your around, and I love rocking with you. So Rock hard, and live life the way you want it to buddy. Let's go crazy soon.

So now you know all of my Best Friends. Here they all are the people that make me the person I am today. I love you all, and I don't want you all to change. I love you all the way you are. You are the greatest people I have ever met, and I know Every time I am with each, and every one with you I always will have something, and exciting happen to me. I just miss you all already just talking about you.

Those are my friends, and now you know the important people in my life:)

<33

The Real Me

Your gonna probably wonder to yourself what i'm going to write on here or why i'm actually starting to write blog? The truth is.....I need to let stuff out. I've kept myself in hiding for so long, and I need someway to let people understand about who I really am. My head is always full of weird things. Sometimes I wonder if I can just handle myself. I try to let people understand me but the truth is I don't even understand myself sometimes. I'm just typing in stuff that is coming to my head, and I've finally realized that this is the best way to let it all out. If you want to read this it don't matter to me. If you don't want to then why are you even here. This is just for people actually know the real me. Not for the people I hate or even hate me. I know there are people out there who actually hate me. They can't hide but you know what I think I better get on with this because I think I have rambled on long enough so here we go.

What I am is a person at the age of 20 still trying to figure himself out. Some of you don't realize how sensitive I really am. Some of you just take it for granted, and just try to get a rise out of me. I actually thought at first blogging would be a waste of time. A time where you just had an excuse just to bitch about other people just because I read maybe one of two blogs of people I didn't even like. Which one of them I thought was my best friend. But I finally just thought to myself "I think blogging is about more then bitching about people on internet. It's letting yourself out there. Letting people know how you actually feel, and I finally get that now. I should done this years ago. I might have actually gotten somewhere but I don't really know. Maybe I just wasn't ready. 

I want to tell you all about my problems actually. They say sometimes writing stuff down is the best way to do that. Plus you won't have other people actually interrupting you as well. I've always felt like I was in pain. I could never let the past go. I feel like the past will haunt me. I just felt I was hanging with the wrong crowd, and I felt like some of them just broke my self esteem, and I just thought I was a loser, and a screw up, and that is when I finally opened my eyes, and just felt like I was rescued. But even though might have been saved I still feel sometimes i'm lost in a world I can't get out of. I feel without help I'm lost completely. I feel I need to be medicated by anti depressants just to make myself happy. Some will think "You gotta just pick yourself up, and not worry about the little things, and the past, and start thinking about the future." They are right that I should think about the future but what they don't know is that they don't fully know me. It's like your trying to explain what kind of person you feel like at most times but all you really want is someone to just hold you, and just hug you, and say everything will be alright especially when your in tears. That's what I really want when I'm in tears. I don't want to be lectured by people when I'm in tears. I just want people to shut up, and just hug me. Is that really to much ask. I want a shoulder to cry on. I want them to just open their eyes, and just sit down with me, and not talk really. You people need to know when someone is in tears you can't always say a bunch of stuff, and know that it will work. When someone is on the ground, and is crying their eyes out they want their friends but I know you are trying to help them. It's all about sensitivity really. But I think you get my point finally just by reading this whole paragraph.

I know that I love my friends, and family to death. I would never trade them up for anything. I feel so special for the one's that love me, and that I love back. I've just had it a bit rough in life. Not on the outside. Only on the inside. Like my head really because I suffer through actually depression. I didn't feel like the friends I use to hang with helped at all. They just pushed me over the edge. Even if they find this I really don't care what they think really. I've actually always had thoughts of killing the one that I was friends with since 9th grade. He actually makes me so blood drunk. The fact that why I am mad at him is because he decided to actually take sides instead of staying out of a fight that was between two of his friends. Real friends don't take sides with other friends it just makes the problem much worse, and it makes you look like a complete asshole. If he actually knew how I felt about this he probably wouldn't even care. He would just use terms like faggot, K, Champ, or even K Champ in one word. The words of a complete child. A man child as I would put it. Someone who still lives like he is in high school. A cold blooded person who actually deserves to be hurt, who deserves to suffer, and who deserves to actually die. Maybe someone should run you over or shoot your fucking head off or even stab you in the fucking head repeatedly. I sure would love to but i'm no killer. I've always felt I could do it to him but I know in my heart i'm a loving, and caring person. I can relate to his ex girlfriend because we were hurt by the same person. That's why we are best friends. She knows my problems, and she knew what I was going through. I was being attacked on the internet, and it felt like she took my hand, and said "It's ok i'm here now, and he's gone away. You don't need him anymore. He's nothing but trash. I feel your pain." I'm proud to call her my bestie. I'm proud to say she's the one person I can relate to. If I ever need a shoulder to cry on. I know she's there for me, and I want to say thank you Ashley Alison Boone thank you for being there for me. You are truly my best friend.

Now I have said so much out of just this first blog I am about to post here, and I know there will be so much more. But you will all have to wait, and see what I have in store for all of you to read because I think you will find them to be very interesting indeed. To those who enjoyed reading this I'm glad you loved it, and to those who hate it. Get the fuck off my blog site you pricks. So long.....See ya.....and have youselfs a good night to all.